What is Conan the Librarian X?
A torture tool. Conan tells you to shut up when the incoming sound on
your built in microphone reaches certain levels. This is a port of a
very, very old System 7 extension for the Macintosh. It was one of my
favorite useless apps for the Classic Mac OS. How do I use Conan the Librarian X?
Ideally, you should install this app on the Mac of someone you hate. I
have a list of 67 people, personally. Once installed on the Macintosh of
your foe, double click the icon to launch. It runs as a faceless
background application, so it will look as if nothing has happened. When
running, Conan the Librarian listens in on the built in microphone.
When the sound level gets to a certain point, it will tell you to shut
up. The more sound that comes in, the angrier the Governor gets. If you
need to kill the application because your life is being threatened, open
up a Terminal window and type in the following command: killall QUIT “Conan The Librarian” Version 1.2 is Universal Binary. If Conan is too sensitive to sounds, try lowering the Input Volume in the System Preferences (under Sound->Input). NOTE:
I have finally found out who wrote the original Conan the Librarian. It
was Neil Day, in 1992. I cannot find his email address, however. Anyway,
the original Conan and sounds are 1992 Neil Day. Disclaimer:
I make no guarantees about this app. It may destroy you, your computer,
your friends computer, your cat, your credit rating, etc. I am in no way
responsible for ANYTHING tragic happening to you or anyone you choose
to torture with this app. Use at your own risk. Conan the Librarian X is 159% freeware. You may
redistribute the application as you see fit, without notification to
myself, as long as no fee is collected. Extra Credit:
Additional source code (CoreAudio) was provided by Evan Olcott (email
address included in the Read Me file). Much thanks to Mr E. for the
great CoreAudio class to poll the built in microphone. Without his help,
you wouldn’t hate me nearly as much as you do. No thanks whatsoever to Apple Computer for obfuscating the CoreAudio API’s.